Flu Fear

So, I've had a pretty good run of things and have been very lucky throughout my life. And as a result, I haven't had to confront tons of fear in my personal life.

But yikes. This has been a scary week. On Monday afternoon I started coughing. By the time I got home something was clearly wrong. And yesterday I felt beset by the plague. Its continued on that way today as I have bounced between sweating, freezing, aching, and hacking up chunks of goodness knows what...

Admittedly, this is another area that I have been pretty darn lucky. This is the first time I have gotten the flu in at least a decade.

And I am freaked out.

Not because I am concerned about my health.

Its Jo-Elle and Cletus. She has been coughing but clearly is much healthier than me at the moment. We've split the house in half. I have existed solely on the second floor for days. While she is spending most of her time on the first. We've both talked to our doctors. I am on Tamiflu. Jo-Elle's doctor did not feel the need to prescribe anything.

But its crazy. I am worried about this little creature that I have never seen...who is in some way an abstraction (clearly its a ton more real for Jo-Elle). I am feeling guilty for endangering them both.

I guess I am getting my first taste of parenthood. Wow.