Madurai Madness

Madurai is famous for two things: being one of the south's premiere towns; and touts. So when we disembarked from the train, Jeff was sent out as our emissary in search of a hotel, sans bags---the red badge of tourists. He quickly found the worst rooms we inhabited on the entire trip. But no complaints, $20 gets you a surprising amount... Hotel Chentoor was a no frills reminder that you get what you pay for...just like the Prince, Le Deplieux, and ICI. Oddly, they insisted on a 24 hour check-in---we arrived at 8:30 a.m. and we would leave at the same time the next day. We negotiated an alternative arrangement, but we should have realized that we'd be paying over and over for this place. I ended up paying an extra $300 for the room when the help stole my iPod which was ultimately the only bit of crime we encountered during the entire trip (I wonder what the guy thinks of my music...).

But, the hotel did indeed have one very favorable thing going for it---a three block walk to the temple (which is really the only reason anyone sets foot in this dusty little town).

Losing all the bullshit in their flowery copy, Lonely Planet describes Madurai something like: Famous for the....Sri Maneekshi Temple complex. Madurai is an animated city packed with pilgrims, beggars, business peoples, oxcarts, and underemployed rickshaw drivers.

We saw plenty of beggars---far fewer business people. Lots of rickshaw drivers bugged the crap out of us as we walked the streets. Apparently there is an insanely ludicrous number of auto and bicycle rickshaw drivers (something like 10,000 in a town of 40,000 people). But it makes sense considering there can be 20,000 pilgrims converging on Madurai every day. However, business was really slow when we got there. So, every step we took, we passed a driver who needed us to give him a revenue stream. This can get a bit tiring...particularly when you throw the beggars and cons into the mix.

But like the rest of India, there is a hum of excitement in the air as you near Sri Maneekshi. The complex is a monument to the power of peace. It is massive. Twelve different gopurams 5 to 7 stories tall and festooned with hundreds life-sized sculptures dominate the skyline and can be seen from all over town. One moment, you are engulfed in dirt and noise. But in another, you drop your shoes and pop inside; suddenly the noise is gone, the touts are nowhere to be seen, and thankfully there are no drivers. There were oddly aggressive merchants in the entry areas (with odd things like plastic guns for sale that you'd not expect in a holy place---another aspect of Hinduism I just didn't get), but eventually we were in a sprawling stone complex with temples, a giant central tank (pool), a wide assortment of important shrines only available to Hindus, two different elephant blessing stands, and 2,000 years of history. Much of the complex was built between 1400 and 1600, but there has been a temple on this site for over 2,000 years. It is rumored to be the spot that Shiva appeared as a fiery lingam.

Jeff and I took an initial sortie because Jo-Elle did not want to take off her shoes. So while we were wowwed, she was overwhelmed by a wide assortment of folks attempting to separate her from her money. In the end, a seemingly friendly tailor stayed with her and shooed away all the aggressive beggars and touts. As he had hoped, we agreed to reward his chivalry by coming to his shop in the large market to get fitted for super-cheap cortas (long Indian-style shirts). As you would expect, the shirts were significantly more expected that he originally quoted---but amazingly they were ready in just a few hours. The market was a crazy assortment of book sellers, cloth merchants and row after row of old guys sitting at ancient-looking sewing machines. It was great to wander amongst the tailors making other over-priced shirts for foolish tourists like ourselves. More interesting were the titles being hawked by the book sellers: all computer programming, engineering, and kid's titles. We will soon be overtaken by these folks...

On the way back from the market we got a bit turned around, which was odd considering this was not a big town and we actually had a map... Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable walk that ended in a sari shopping spree for Jo-Elle. She picked up a couple of nice garments which came in one of those great sack cloth bags with bamboo handles. This store's bags were particularly great given the Tamil language printing with a flying Harry Potter image printed proudly on the side.

We eventually made it back to the hotel and had a great south Indian lunch on the rooftop with a great view overlooking the temple. A large group of local men gawked and the three of us---leering at Jo-Elle. By this point, I had gotten used to the stares and eating with my right hand, so it was all good!

We headed back to the temple and convinced Jo-Elle to enter with the promise that she could once again be blessed by an elephant. The pachyderm was decked out in all sorts of finery with rich colorful robes and glittery paints. The bonk was the same as before. Soon we were drawn away by the sounds of the evening's procession. Every night, for the last two millennia, the same procession has occurred in this spot. Shiva and Ganesh are put away for the night in their homes. Uniquely Indian music blasted and a crowd gathered nearby. We could see the giant golden Shiva statue being draped in flowery garlands. Eventually, the statue was loaded onto a trailer and began a three-hour journey around the periphery of the temple. The statues had an entourage worthy of the maharaja back in the day. Shiva was preceded by:

• A sacred bull clothed in richly colored and embroidered sashes
• Jo-Elle's elephant, still in rich finery
• a live band with two wind instrument soloists playing a loud woodwind instrument with gourd resonance boxes, as well as more than a half a dozen percussionists
• a small golden Ganesh statue
• Retainers with silver rods, tridents, and torches
• A giant gold or brass statue of Shiva standing on a Nandi, covered in flowers and riding on a trailer pulled by 10 hefty guys. The statue was lit by its own electric lights and a big, loud electric generator that belched fumes

Everyone prostrated themselves before the procession which stopped every 20' or so to accommodate pilgrims tossing offerings. It was an amazing scene made more spectacular by the giant entry towers being lit as the procession slowly passed. Often, the procession sat for 10 and 15 minutes at a time while the band held impromptu jam sessions that were particularly cool as the drummers traded super-human speed rhythm licks.

While watching one of these mini-concerts and being mind-boggled at the concept of witnessing an event that has unfolded in largely the same manner every night for 2,000 years (over 730,000 times), I was approached by a man who repeatedly asked if I "wished to touch the soil." It was a weird request on a lot of levels---among them the fact that the entire complex was paved in giant stone tiles. He spoke of the root of all religions and his wish to share this knowledge with a westerner like myself. He used a word over and over that I cannot remember---but it made Jo-Elle think that he mistakenly believed that I was half-Indian (not the first time I've been confused for any of a wide assortment of ethnicities, everyone wants to claim me).

I've been prostelatized by pretty much every religion out there. But when this guy talked about his yogi being a guru who worked in Chicago, I was intrigued. I called to Jo and Jeff to follow me so we could touch the soil. They looked at me like I was crazy, but followed. Soon I was cruising through the corridors of the temples, close behind the guy. I looked back to make sure Jo and Jeff were following. At one point I looked back to see that my wife and friend were nowhere to be seen. I also realized that he was leading me through the Hindu-only sections of the temple, much to my chagrin. Eventually, we came to a wall near the tank only a few feet from where Jo, Jeff, and I had been sitting an hour before. On the marble wall were quotes from a swami that basically amounted to "G-d is inside you. Look internally. You can see him in human acts of kindness, so be good..."

um, duh.

I shared my surprise that this simple message was considered central amidst the spectacle of this long-standing evening procession. He gave me an irked look and said that the people around were ignorant and that the rest of the temple and activities were "secondary." He had "chosen" me because I was clearly educated in the West and could see through all of this...

Needless to say, I was irked. His great epiphany was not so spectacular, and now I was separated from Jo and Jeff in the midst of a sprawling, strange place at the end of the night with some guy who wanted me to join and random cult... Already, the processional events were coming to an end and people would soon be shoo-ed out of the temple. I got nervous and asked him to take me back---he tried but got lost.

"What, you don't know your way around the temple?"

"No. I have never been here before---and I am not a Hindu..."

Ugh. I was irked and a bit concerned about losing my wife. And being forced out of the temple sans shoes... In the end, it took more than 30 minutes, but I managed to find my concerned friend and angry wife just as the temple was closing. I had missed Shiva being retired for the night, unloaded from the trailer and carried on golden palenquins. It took a while to dismiss my swami friend---all the while Jo-Elle's understandably icy stares reminded me that I really am a dumbass.

Coming soon: Perhaps the coolest bar I have ever been in; hand-crafted sodas; a bikeride that made me embarrassed to be American...